Clear eyes, Full Hearts.

Poop, meet fan. 

Tomorrow marks the 2 year anniversary of all my poop hitting the fan. Not just my poop really, all of THE poop. It's not the prettiest of analogies and for that I apologize...but it's the only way it can be accurately described.

In many ways, it feels as though it's been 10 years. So much has changed, for both better and worse...and in many real ways it feels like it was yesterday.  But you know what, one thing that is true...it's been 2 years.

Reflecting honestly is difficult sometimes. We have a perspective that is our own, that clouds the true vision. I don't think this is a bad thing, but it needs to be taken into consideration.

DISTRACTION

In moments of negativity it can be so hard to find understanding or meaning. Your body/mind go into all hands on deck mode and you're just focusing on whatever distraction you can maintain any sort of
sanity.

And you know what, screw that. Even years later it's difficult to find meaning...but what I have found is that it's ok. I'm beginning to think this whole life thing is about letting go of control. Every time we (or maybe just I) get that sense that we are in control, life is moving along swimmingly, that poop comes fan hunting.

The lesson is to be taken from the clean up.  Everyone will have their moments where things won't make sense and understanding will be hiding under  a rock...but the growth comes from the actions taken after that. Any opportunity to quote Maya Angelou must be taken advantage of...

"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.  In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." ~Maya Angelou

Each one of these battles, whether won or loss, prepares us for the next. It puts everything else around us in perspective. It teaches us empathy and understanding. But most importantly, it teaches us that we in fact weathered the storm, and we now know that we will be able to handle whatever is thrown at us next. You want to know a great thing about moments? They are just that, moments. This moment will pass.  Sure, we will be effected by the moment. Sometimes positively, often times negatively...but it's all just preparation for the next moment. 

Thanks Coach Taylor for reminding us what's important. 

Leadershanipulation

See what I did there? I took two words and then just put them together. It's pretty cool, you should try it sometime.

I have found in my personal and professional experiences that there is a fine line between leadership and manipulation.  I think in some cases, leadership styles incorporate manipulation and I can't seem to figure out if that's a bad thing or not.  At first glance, the term manipulation has so much negative connotation that floats along with it.

Dictionary defines Manipulation in the following 4 manners :

1.	( tr ) to handle or use, esp with some skill, in a process or action: to manipulate a pair of scissors
2.	to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously
3.	to falsify (a bill, accounts, etc) for one's own advantage
4.	(in physiotherapy) to examine or treat manually, as in loosening a joint We can quickly eliminate the last two definitions for the sake of this conversation. I am not sure the first definition is relevant, unless we want to consider the people we work and act with on a daily basis a 'tool.' And let's be honest, that is definitely the case sometimes...so many tools (An opportunity for a bad joke was there, my mentor would have been upset if I didn't take it). In order to bring some consistency to the conversation, I think the 2nd definition is the best for this topic. It is amazing how powerful the words are in that sentence 'negotiate, control, influence....cleverly, skillfully, deviously." All of those words are packed with a punch of either positivity or negativity, which really ties in with Leadership beautifully.  Leadershanipulation (I did it again) all depends on the intent. In student affairs, we always talk about have intentional conversations and asking intentional questions...I think that's great, but if we look at that a little deeper aren't we trying to 'influence (something or someone) cleverly, skillfully, or (gulp) deviously." Now, I am not arguing that we should not be asking intentional questions or having those conversations but I think the intent of those conversations requires further examination.  What influence, if any, are we trying to apply? Who benefits?  Leadership and influence go hand in hand, I think it just boils down to the intent of the influence. The lines are blurry and hard to define at times whether you are working with students, staff, colleagues, or peers. I personally think, sometimes leaders need to manipulate in order to make a team feel like they are contributing and their voices are heard...even if a decision will inevitably be made regardless of the conversation.  But that goes back to the intent, it's not for a personal gain or benefit but in order to maintain a cohesive group that believe their voice is heard and more importantly that it matters.

Friday Night Lights- Devil Town

This show has got to be in the top 10. This song is a bit weird but because it's associated with Friday Night Lights, it needs to be shared.

A Pep Talk from Kid President to You

'Hang On'

The lyrics to this song can be so dead on.  They throw in a little Billy Joel at the end and that never hurts anyone...except maybe Billy Joel himself.  Enjoy.

Tom Terrific and The West Wing

Last night was a friendly reminder that I hate sports. My beloved Patriots fell horrendously short against the 'T Sizzle' and the Baltimore Ravens (Side note: Can you really accuse another team/person of being arrogant when you go by the name 'T Sizzle?).  Patriots fans have become spoiled...all of us bitterly complaining and second guessing everything that happened yesterday while the word 'choke' gets thrown around by the media.

Let's be honest...we (Patriots fans) have been quite lucky over the past twelve years.  Winning 3 Super Bowls while reaching 5.  That leaves 7 years where 3 of them ended in the AFC championship...making the playoffs 11 of 12. It could be worse. There will come a time in the next 5 years when #12 won't be squatting underneath a huge center and throwing darts and more importantly always leaving fans with hope.  There was a point during the AFC Championship where the Patriots were down 28-13 with 5 minute left and in my mind I am still confident that a comeback is possible.  That only happens if you have one of the 5 quarterbacks and we have been blessed for 12 straight years with a guy that leaves that thought in your mind.



I am a sports fan, so I will absolutely be watching the Super Bowl in two weeks...but if we are speaking truthfully this 'HarBowl' crap is going to get old fast.  The next 14 days will be filled with interviews from every member of the Harbaugh family, countless examination of the impact Ray Lewis has on and off the field, and we get to see that amazing choreography displayed one final time to Nelly's 'Hot in Hurr." Can we examine this further? Ray Lewis has been doing that dance for years but did anyone know it was Nelly that he was rocking out too?! I was dumbfounded a couple weeks ago when I heard that for the first time.  Can Ravens fans confirm if this is the song he always comes out to? Or does it rotate?  I know I'm nitpicking so the focus is not about Tom Brady taking himself out of the Pro Bowl and that the entire Patriots team will be on vacation during the Super Bowl.



Well, having the day off allowed me to focus on more important things...like watching the West Wing for 12 hours.  I was a die-hard West Wing fan in high school, but fell off the wagon when I started college.  Show is fantastic. I know Sorkin can either be hit or miss with his writings but the quick wit and the issues that are tackled on that show stays true to the viewing today. As much as I have enjoyed rifling through 5 seasons in record time, I'm happy to be close to the finish lines.  My dreams have involved Rob Lowe for the last few weeks and it is starting to get creepy.  I wake up thinking about foreign policy and if Charlie and Zoe will finally get back together (the 5 people following will enjoy that reference).  The show has reminded me why I wanted to go into politics when I was younger.  The feeling that you could make major differences and changes in the world...again it was a television show...but I was young and impressionable so leave me alone.

Lies and Frustration

I feel like the cynical part of my brain has been working overtime as of late.  The stories in the news that have continued to capture my attention have been revolving around lies, cover ups, and the right the thing to do. 

Everyone and their Mother has tweeted about, read about, learned about, and as of tomorrow viewed Oprah's interview with Lance Armstrong.  The public confession or apology or whatever he wants to call this Public Relations, last ditch, hit the hearts of the people, save (Remember what I said about the cynical part).  I have been having a difficult time figuring out what my opinion is on this matter.  My initial reaction was NO KIDDING. I found it odd that people were shocked, anti-doping agencies have been after this man for a decade and as the years passed his story and people around him began to crumble.  Part of me held on hope that he wasn't doping (the same part that still holds strong for Ken Griffey Jr.) but deep down, I knew a press conference would be held where tears would be streaming and apologies would be flowing.

I am not even sure if disappointment came to mind when the announcement came because the suspicion that this day would come was far too evident.  It was not a question of 'if' but more of 'when,'  Someone I was with the other day made a comment 'I just don't understand how he could lie that elaborately for that long...it must be exhausting.'  He is right, that does have to be exhausting.  I began to wonder if it goes on for so long that he truly believed at times that he was innocent, that doping did not occur. I mean, I am positive he dug deep and reflected that would always be there...but I just wonder after denying claims for literally a decade it was almost second nature. I am still not sure how I feel on the subject.  Part of me asks who am I to be this upset and disappointed, we all make mistakes.  However, to think of all the people he dragged down with him, the claims that were consistently made towards other people around him, it's hard to let that go.

While continuing the processing an article comes out by Deadspin about Manti Te'o, the Notre Dame linebacker.  Manti was one of the top defensive players in the country this year who overcame tragedy off the field and was embraced by his team and the community. The original story is Manti goes back to September when in the matter of hours he lost his Grandmother and his girlfriend. It is now being reported by Deadspin that he did in fact lose his Grandmother but that the girlfriend was made up and was a hoax to intensify the story. http://deadspin.com/5976517/manti-teos-dead-girlfriend-the-most-heartbreaking-and-inspirational-story-of-the-college-football-season-is-a-hoax

Clearly, I do not have enough of the facts or information to make an educated statement...but gosh is this getting old. Truly, I hope this is poor reporting by Deadspin but if not, when does this end? The two examples happen to be in the sporting world but we all know this goes far beyond that realm.  It is sadly in our everyday life and with the advancement in social media these issues, as important as they are, only get escalated.

The point of this post has been murky at best and maybe this is just a part of growing up and the cynical side gains a strangle hold on your reality and the battle is to stay positive in this ever negative media driven world.