Clear eyes, Full Hearts.

Poop, meet fan. 

Tomorrow marks the 2 year anniversary of all my poop hitting the fan. Not just my poop really, all of THE poop. It's not the prettiest of analogies and for that I apologize...but it's the only way it can be accurately described.

In many ways, it feels as though it's been 10 years. So much has changed, for both better and worse...and in many real ways it feels like it was yesterday.  But you know what, one thing that is true...it's been 2 years.

Reflecting honestly is difficult sometimes. We have a perspective that is our own, that clouds the true vision. I don't think this is a bad thing, but it needs to be taken into consideration.

DISTRACTION

In moments of negativity it can be so hard to find understanding or meaning. Your body/mind go into all hands on deck mode and you're just focusing on whatever distraction you can maintain any sort of
sanity.

And you know what, screw that. Even years later it's difficult to find meaning...but what I have found is that it's ok. I'm beginning to think this whole life thing is about letting go of control. Every time we (or maybe just I) get that sense that we are in control, life is moving along swimmingly, that poop comes fan hunting.

The lesson is to be taken from the clean up.  Everyone will have their moments where things won't make sense and understanding will be hiding under  a rock...but the growth comes from the actions taken after that. Any opportunity to quote Maya Angelou must be taken advantage of...

"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.  In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." ~Maya Angelou

Each one of these battles, whether won or loss, prepares us for the next. It puts everything else around us in perspective. It teaches us empathy and understanding. But most importantly, it teaches us that we in fact weathered the storm, and we now know that we will be able to handle whatever is thrown at us next. You want to know a great thing about moments? They are just that, moments. This moment will pass.  Sure, we will be effected by the moment. Sometimes positively, often times negatively...but it's all just preparation for the next moment. 

Thanks Coach Taylor for reminding us what's important. 

Leadershanipulation

See what I did there? I took two words and then just put them together. It's pretty cool, you should try it sometime.

I have found in my personal and professional experiences that there is a fine line between leadership and manipulation.  I think in some cases, leadership styles incorporate manipulation and I can't seem to figure out if that's a bad thing or not.  At first glance, the term manipulation has so much negative connotation that floats along with it.

Dictionary defines Manipulation in the following 4 manners :

1.	( tr ) to handle or use, esp with some skill, in a process or action: to manipulate a pair of scissors
2.	to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously
3.	to falsify (a bill, accounts, etc) for one's own advantage
4.	(in physiotherapy) to examine or treat manually, as in loosening a joint We can quickly eliminate the last two definitions for the sake of this conversation. I am not sure the first definition is relevant, unless we want to consider the people we work and act with on a daily basis a 'tool.' And let's be honest, that is definitely the case sometimes...so many tools (An opportunity for a bad joke was there, my mentor would have been upset if I didn't take it). In order to bring some consistency to the conversation, I think the 2nd definition is the best for this topic. It is amazing how powerful the words are in that sentence 'negotiate, control, influence....cleverly, skillfully, deviously." All of those words are packed with a punch of either positivity or negativity, which really ties in with Leadership beautifully.  Leadershanipulation (I did it again) all depends on the intent. In student affairs, we always talk about have intentional conversations and asking intentional questions...I think that's great, but if we look at that a little deeper aren't we trying to 'influence (something or someone) cleverly, skillfully, or (gulp) deviously." Now, I am not arguing that we should not be asking intentional questions or having those conversations but I think the intent of those conversations requires further examination.  What influence, if any, are we trying to apply? Who benefits?  Leadership and influence go hand in hand, I think it just boils down to the intent of the influence. The lines are blurry and hard to define at times whether you are working with students, staff, colleagues, or peers. I personally think, sometimes leaders need to manipulate in order to make a team feel like they are contributing and their voices are heard...even if a decision will inevitably be made regardless of the conversation.  But that goes back to the intent, it's not for a personal gain or benefit but in order to maintain a cohesive group that believe their voice is heard and more importantly that it matters.

Friday Night Lights- Devil Town

This show has got to be in the top 10. This song is a bit weird but because it's associated with Friday Night Lights, it needs to be shared.

A Pep Talk from Kid President to You

'Hang On'

The lyrics to this song can be so dead on.  They throw in a little Billy Joel at the end and that never hurts anyone...except maybe Billy Joel himself.  Enjoy.

Tom Terrific and The West Wing

Last night was a friendly reminder that I hate sports. My beloved Patriots fell horrendously short against the 'T Sizzle' and the Baltimore Ravens (Side note: Can you really accuse another team/person of being arrogant when you go by the name 'T Sizzle?).  Patriots fans have become spoiled...all of us bitterly complaining and second guessing everything that happened yesterday while the word 'choke' gets thrown around by the media.

Let's be honest...we (Patriots fans) have been quite lucky over the past twelve years.  Winning 3 Super Bowls while reaching 5.  That leaves 7 years where 3 of them ended in the AFC championship...making the playoffs 11 of 12. It could be worse. There will come a time in the next 5 years when #12 won't be squatting underneath a huge center and throwing darts and more importantly always leaving fans with hope.  There was a point during the AFC Championship where the Patriots were down 28-13 with 5 minute left and in my mind I am still confident that a comeback is possible.  That only happens if you have one of the 5 quarterbacks and we have been blessed for 12 straight years with a guy that leaves that thought in your mind.



I am a sports fan, so I will absolutely be watching the Super Bowl in two weeks...but if we are speaking truthfully this 'HarBowl' crap is going to get old fast.  The next 14 days will be filled with interviews from every member of the Harbaugh family, countless examination of the impact Ray Lewis has on and off the field, and we get to see that amazing choreography displayed one final time to Nelly's 'Hot in Hurr." Can we examine this further? Ray Lewis has been doing that dance for years but did anyone know it was Nelly that he was rocking out too?! I was dumbfounded a couple weeks ago when I heard that for the first time.  Can Ravens fans confirm if this is the song he always comes out to? Or does it rotate?  I know I'm nitpicking so the focus is not about Tom Brady taking himself out of the Pro Bowl and that the entire Patriots team will be on vacation during the Super Bowl.



Well, having the day off allowed me to focus on more important things...like watching the West Wing for 12 hours.  I was a die-hard West Wing fan in high school, but fell off the wagon when I started college.  Show is fantastic. I know Sorkin can either be hit or miss with his writings but the quick wit and the issues that are tackled on that show stays true to the viewing today. As much as I have enjoyed rifling through 5 seasons in record time, I'm happy to be close to the finish lines.  My dreams have involved Rob Lowe for the last few weeks and it is starting to get creepy.  I wake up thinking about foreign policy and if Charlie and Zoe will finally get back together (the 5 people following will enjoy that reference).  The show has reminded me why I wanted to go into politics when I was younger.  The feeling that you could make major differences and changes in the world...again it was a television show...but I was young and impressionable so leave me alone.

Lies and Frustration

I feel like the cynical part of my brain has been working overtime as of late.  The stories in the news that have continued to capture my attention have been revolving around lies, cover ups, and the right the thing to do. 

Everyone and their Mother has tweeted about, read about, learned about, and as of tomorrow viewed Oprah's interview with Lance Armstrong.  The public confession or apology or whatever he wants to call this Public Relations, last ditch, hit the hearts of the people, save (Remember what I said about the cynical part).  I have been having a difficult time figuring out what my opinion is on this matter.  My initial reaction was NO KIDDING. I found it odd that people were shocked, anti-doping agencies have been after this man for a decade and as the years passed his story and people around him began to crumble.  Part of me held on hope that he wasn't doping (the same part that still holds strong for Ken Griffey Jr.) but deep down, I knew a press conference would be held where tears would be streaming and apologies would be flowing.

I am not even sure if disappointment came to mind when the announcement came because the suspicion that this day would come was far too evident.  It was not a question of 'if' but more of 'when,'  Someone I was with the other day made a comment 'I just don't understand how he could lie that elaborately for that long...it must be exhausting.'  He is right, that does have to be exhausting.  I began to wonder if it goes on for so long that he truly believed at times that he was innocent, that doping did not occur. I mean, I am positive he dug deep and reflected that would always be there...but I just wonder after denying claims for literally a decade it was almost second nature. I am still not sure how I feel on the subject.  Part of me asks who am I to be this upset and disappointed, we all make mistakes.  However, to think of all the people he dragged down with him, the claims that were consistently made towards other people around him, it's hard to let that go.

While continuing the processing an article comes out by Deadspin about Manti Te'o, the Notre Dame linebacker.  Manti was one of the top defensive players in the country this year who overcame tragedy off the field and was embraced by his team and the community. The original story is Manti goes back to September when in the matter of hours he lost his Grandmother and his girlfriend. It is now being reported by Deadspin that he did in fact lose his Grandmother but that the girlfriend was made up and was a hoax to intensify the story. http://deadspin.com/5976517/manti-teos-dead-girlfriend-the-most-heartbreaking-and-inspirational-story-of-the-college-football-season-is-a-hoax

Clearly, I do not have enough of the facts or information to make an educated statement...but gosh is this getting old. Truly, I hope this is poor reporting by Deadspin but if not, when does this end? The two examples happen to be in the sporting world but we all know this goes far beyond that realm.  It is sadly in our everyday life and with the advancement in social media these issues, as important as they are, only get escalated.

The point of this post has been murky at best and maybe this is just a part of growing up and the cynical side gains a strangle hold on your reality and the battle is to stay positive in this ever negative media driven world.

The Bad Blogger

I think it is fair to say that I am just a terrible blogger. Not very good at all. I managed to go well over 12 months without a post, which quite frankly, I find impressive. I look at it every once in a while and think TODAY IS THE DAY. I am going to come up with something incredibly witty or insightful...heck maybe even educational! I type a few lines and then recite this: "Wow, this is stupid." So maybe this will get me kick started again to share some fun things and inspirational thoughts.  Or maybe, I will make it again until December 2013 without another post.  Either way...you're welcome. 

Ben Folds

Everyone should get the new Ben Folds album 'The Best Imitation of Myself: A retrospective' It's over 40 songs of awesomeness.

Fall is Here

We Were Promised Jetpacks - Moving Clocks Run Slow @ Borderline

The Return of Dexter

Thank God!  It had been far too long since I found myself rooting for a serial killer.  With the delay of the start of Mad Men I was in dire need for a good television series.  Dexter seems to be back to his roots and anytime Colin Hanks is brought into the mix, good things happen.

It's been quite sometime since I've blogged.  No surprise there, every time I blog it usually starts with something like "Well it's been 3 months since you've heard from me" so let's keep that trend going.

The new academic year has had a different sort of flow to it.  I can't tell if I have found a balance that is making things easier this year, or if I keep pretending that I found a balance so that makes everything ok.  The EC baseball team is off to it's best start in team history at 3-1.  We have minimized the mental break downs and that has made everything all that much more enjoyable.  Ironically, the team a few blocks away set a new standard for meltdowns.  The only positive thing the Boston Red Sox did for me this fall is bring home the fact that everything I preach about chemistry, camaraderie, respect for one another is so important...even in sports. You can't be successful without it.  I'm excited to begin exploring leadership development a bit more and hopefully incorporate it into a full time position.  Fingers Crossed.

Welcome Back!

It has been far too long!  I have attempted to reconnect with this blogging device but failed miserably a couple of times over the past few months.  It took MASC camp to get me back into the swing of things.  I have been fortunate enough to be a part of this organization for over the past 10 years.  It is a place, that no matter the state of mind you are in entering the week, you leave centered and focused. Surrounded by such amazing people gives off such a contagious vibe that you can't help but get excited about the work that you are doing.  There are so many things in life that I take for granted, especially relationships that I have with friends.  The week reminds me what is important and the time that should be given to those who constantly put me in this place of happiness.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I have to work at this camp.  To watch students go through this incredible transformation in such a short time is truly inspirational.  Working with 3rd year campers can be challenging...these students have been through the camp 3 times already, they have already made their connections, have their group of friends and they don't need to rely on the staff members as much as those in the first and second year camp.  For this particular group of students, the third year of camp becomes more like a farewell tour.  It's a time for them to be reminiscent on their experiences in student council and in high school.  During this week there was a different feel for the group that we were working with.  They were passionate about giving back to the organization that gave them so much.  They wanted to show the camp how grateful they were for their experiences.  They connected with the staff in a way that had not happened in previous 3rd year groups.  I felt a strong connection with this group, which in turn made it a heck of a lot more difficult to part with them on Friday.  I am so thankful for the time spent with this group and I wish them nothing but the best as they head in to their senior year.  In this post, I put a couple videos from the week as well as a picture from an egg drop game. (I did not facilitate this but I had a lot of fun watching)

Catch up

I haven't been all that nice to the blog lately.  Not really sure why.  I think for a while it was because I'm afraid honesty can be hurtful...but I also don't want to go on lying in this either or avoiding things.  Let's focus on some good though shall we.

It is baseball season.  You wouldn't know it because it is snowing out my window right now but believe it or not it is time for baseball.  The Emmanuel team has begun practicing and it's been a nice way to break away from the work routine.  It is funny, I see these guys everyday for a couple months but when the season ends, even though we are at the same place, I will go months without seeing the very same guys until baseball season starts up again.  It's almost like everyone went home for summer vacation and then we get back together again in the fall.  I think we are going to struggle again this season.  We have a great group of guys who are going to have a lot of fun and probably work harder then every other team we face...unfortunately we are up against a really strong league.  We will overachieve in the sense that the majority of our games will be tight and if we learned anything from losing tough games in the fall we might have a shot at going .500 in the spring.  We have to remember that this team won 3 games this past fall...which at first sounds sad but in actuality over the last 3 years they had only won a combined 3 games, so we'll take it!

It is also the time of year when job searching occurs.  THANKFULLY, this is the first time in a couple years that I can relax during this time period and just do the interviewing.  It's an exciting/nerve wracking experience for all of those beginning that process and I wish you the best of luck.  It's been nice catching up with my former students who are finishing up their grad programs and are going through the placement exchange and all that fun stuff!  I'm also excited for the group of my friends who have decided to go back to school and have gotten in!  Congrats!

Oh! And I don't think I have talked much about the improv classes I have been taking at ImprovBoston.  I finished my first 8 week class and am about to start Level 2.  My friends do a pretty good job reminding me that it's a waste of money because I haven't gotten any funnier...but I'm really enjoying it. It's an odd group of people that I'm working with but we laugh a lot and it gets me off campus and into Cambridge at least once a week...that I can appreciate!

Well, I guess this is a start to get back into the swing of things, blogging that is.

Facing the Music

Music takes on another meaning when things aren't going so hot.  In this case, I am amazed at how cutting some lyrics can be.  It's almost like I am punishing myself on purpose when I continue to listen to the same stuff over and over again.  Life is pretty chaotic right now and I don't think I'm in any place right now to begin to explain but it kind of brought me back to something I wrote a long time ago. This Post was from November 2009.  Reading it now it actually looks like the precursor to my last post of substance.  Anyways, it's a nice reminder of where my head is suppose to be right now.

We Were Promised Jetpacks - It's Thunder and It's Lightning (Live on KEXP)

Harry Potter- Heard the World (O.A.R)

Attitude Reflects Leadership